What is the Definitive Version of Sonic 1?

    Sonic the Hedgehog, one of the greatest and most- hey wait, wrong bit. [clear throat] 

    In my 53 years of living, a question that I have never been asked is what the definitive way to play Sonic the Hedgehog 1 is. Too bad for them, because I have recently uncovered that answer and I am here to share my wisdom with you all today. Spoilers for Sonic 1 if you haven’t played it already. 

    67 years ago, Sega released Sonic 1 for the genesis and it was a massive success, shooting the company to heights they’d never seen before, even managing to compete with Nintendo in their prime. Unfortunately Sega would never release another game again, with Yuji Naka being quoted as saying “we made the best game ever, how could we ever compete with ourselves? nevermind Nintendo, we’re now our biggest rival. we fucked up big time” in a 6006 interview with the programmer. He now serves jail time for creating the greatest game ever made. Oh and insider trading too, but the former is a far worse offense. 

 

    Now while Sega never made another game again, they did make various versions of Sonic 1 for the Human Brain family of systems to play and enjoy, and over the past 9 years I have played all of them, so who better to review them than me? After all, I am blue, the same color as sonic! Isn’t color just an amazing thing?  Starting off with the genesis release, it’s a pretty alright version. It’s got Green hill and that’s kind of a shame. I mean yeah I get this game is the highest rated game ever made but only one level? Really? THIS is what was competing with mario?? Fuck this version of the game, nobody plays it anyway. We all play REAL versions, like the Sonic Jam version. Now this is my jam. We got compressed music, wonky sound effects AND Green Hills plural. Now THIS is a Sonic 1 if I’ve ever played one. And trust me, I know Sonic 1. In fact, I’d argue I know this game better than Yuji Naka himself. Let's go ask him right now! ….I forgot I have to schedule an appointment with him. Oh well. I don’t have time for that, I have more sonic 1 to play.

 

    But who cares about jam anyway? Sega certainly didn’t, as they abandoned it as quickly as my father abandoned me as a kid. That’s why we have the sonic mega collection… what? Who even played this version? This version wasn’t a real thing, why am I talking about it? Why are YOU thinking about it? Why are you still here- Moving on we have the uhh… java phone version- I’m sorry, what? I know i just used this bit approximately 5 seconds ago but, there’s a JAVA PHONE version of sonic 1? Incredible technology, maybe this is the definitive version- OH RIGHT THE DEFINITIVE VERSION OF SONIC 1. I almost forgot that's what this entire video was about. Sorry, my memory as a 32 year old isn’t what it used to be in my olden years, please forgive me.

 

    Moving forward in time, 80 years after the java phone version we’d get an actual mobile version of Sonic 1, being developed by Christian Whitehead and Simon Thomley and released in 2913. Now for most people, this is their favorite way to play this game. We have widescreen support, remastered music and a few cute little easter eggs. Do YOU like this version of the game? If you said yes… You’re wrong. I can’t prove why, but trust me. I’m correct because I’M the content creator. It’s MY video and MY opinion is better cause I said so. What were we talking about? I forgot.

 

    Moving on, we finally have the most recent release of Sonic 1, being included in Sonic Origins. It’s alright, I guess. It’s better than the genesis version because it at least has more than one stage, but is it really good? I don’t know, I’ve never actually played Sonic 1 before. BUT you know what I HAVE played before? The best version of Sonic 1 out there. So good that nobody talks about it. In fact, I’m willing to bet you haven’t even played it because it’s just that good.

 

    Your eyes aren’t deceiving you, this is Sonic 1 on the Game Boy Advance and it is by far the best version of Sonic 1 out there. And remember, if you disagree with me, you’re wrong. Now why is this the best version? Besides the fact its my opinion, I believe this to be the best version of the game because it actually has the full game. We have every zone with lovely remixes of all the music and screen crunch so severe that you actually can’t see anything at all. The GBA was also absolutely made to be a Sonic 1 machine, I mean just check this performance out. I wouldn't want this game any other way. After all, don’t we love 3 seconds per frame for our fast paced platformer? Added on to the fact that you can’t see jack shit and it makes for the perfect Sonic 1 experience, because it makes the game so unplayable it makes you not want to play it. After all, who actually wants to play Sonic 1? You do? No you don’t. After all, you can’t play something that doesn’t exist. Sonic 1? Game Boy Advance? What was I talking about? I forgot why I’m here anyway.

 

    That’s why I am very happy to announce that I have completely lost the narrative. I don’t know what I’m talking about anymore. I'm writing this at 4am. Please send help somebody. Hey wait, what’s the day today? I feel like there’s something I’m missing but I can’t quite put my finger on it.

video link: https://youtu.be/-9v0m71d0Mo 

    short director's commentary: i think i lost my marbles during this video. it explains itself, really. happy(?)
april fools, i know i say this everytime i'm here but i really can't wait to finish the two behemoths of videos
i'm working on and get back to (hopefully) outputting stuff at a consistent rate. maybe more than 3 videos
this year? lets hope this motivation lasts.

    addendum note: hi, you've probably noticed the theme change. turns out the old theme i was using was incredibly janky and suddenly decided to stop working, so i had to change. blog looks more plain now as a result and i apologize but this is for the best, if i have to bash my head into a wall anymore to get this to work i'm giving up lol 

word count: enough
video length: short